Lets get together....ok...maybe not...

I had a get together at my house
for the first time
since everything happened
and to be completely honest
I had the panic attack of the century before everyone came over
To have new people in my house
To have to play hostess
To put on the face....

I don't know how I felt about the whole thing...

I will be the first to admit
I drank a bit too much
but I didn't care
(it was the third time I drank since)
I was at my house
I was with my husband
and honestly I think I was nervously drinking....

I know I emotionally vomited to a few people
I am not gonna apologize for honestly saying how I feel.
There was a great quote I found

"Does my grief make you uncomfortable?
Guess what?
Me too
But my uncomfortable lasts forever
while yours (probably)
last about as long at this sentence does..."

I now live by this quote.
Because suppressing how I feel isn't going to help me with my healing...
And if you don't want to be there during my healing
You don't need to be here at all.

I got past one big fear last weekend
Having people over at the house.

Oh and I bought crackers,
which at my grocery store,
is right by all the baby stuff....