1 Year 7 Months

82 weeks 

577 days

13,848 hours 

830,880 minutes 

49,852,800 seconds

since I found out I lost my son. 

The months go by and sometimes I think having Carter makes the pain worse and better at the same time if that makes sense.

I enjoy every moment that I have with him, but it just stirs up more questions. 

I cant help but look at Carter and wonder if they would have looked and sounded the same. 

Hes so vocal and happy all the time.

If at this age would they have gotten along? 

Bug would have been 1 year 7 months and Carter is now almost 6. 

What would their interactions be like?

Alot of people have actually asked. 

had you had Bug, would you have had Carter?

I don't see why we wouldn't have. 

We both had agreed we wanted two kids. 

Why does it matter how and when they came...

Honestly its none of your business 

OITNB

Man, the opening credits song came on and I lost my shit

Every time the newest season came out I was pregnant. Both with Bug and Carter.

With Bug I was living with my Meatball. I'd watch a few episodes, sleep, eat, wait for her to come home then hang out and have girl time.

And with Carter, My Person was about to leave on deployment, so she came over and binge watched it with me for an entire day.

This time, my son is asleep, snoring in his crib and I'm out in the living room blubbering like an idiot.

Its crazy how all it takes is a song to bring you back to that place....