Your brothers birthday

Your brothers 1st birthday has come and gone.

And I did nothing the days leading up to it but cry.

I cried because you weren't here

and you weren't my first baby to turn one.

I cried because he was one

and you weren't here to celebrate it with him.

I cried because it was Christmas

and the 3rd one we had without you.

I cried because there is really no other way to express how Im feeling about all of this.

There will always be days that belong to your brother

that bring up the fact that you arent here

and it sucks because I dont want to take away from his day

but I miss you....and I always will.....

2 years 1 month

760 days
18,240 hours
1,094,400 minutes
65,664,000 seconds 

since I lost my son

My sister is visiting again 
like she did when she was supposed to come up and meet Bug...
oddly it lands on the same exact dates
and just brings back the memories

But now Carter is here
so its fun for her to see how hes changed 
since she was here last time. 

I just wish 
that with every visit
It was to come and see two boys
not just one
two boys 
to drive us all crazy
and wrestle 
and read books
two boys to celebrate her birthday 
and early holidays.

Two boys. 



Two boys.