Phantom Feelings

The first time I felt him move I was 10 weeks pregnant.
It was the weirdest
and now looking back at it
most amazing feeling ever

The first time he moved my entire stomach
with a strong swift kick I was 16 weeks pregnant
drinking water at 2 am

I remember it like it happened yesterday

After that I would lay on my back or side and talk to him
and he would move
as if having a conversation with me that we both fully understood

There are alot of things they don't tell you that happen
after you have a baby
If you are far enough along,
your milk still comes in.
Your body doesn't know any better

It doesn't know
that you don't have a baby to feed.
But I think the weirdest thing is the phantom kicks

Again, in the early hours of the morning
I was laying like I often did while pregnant
on my right side

out of nowhere
under my right rib
I swear I felt a kick

I gasped and immediately started crying
that feeling while pregnant, meant my baby was alive and active and moving
I would often push on my stomach just to get a reaction from him
there were a few times he kicked so hard he woke me up out of a deep deep sleep...
I loved him kicking
I knew he was ok

but to feel it
when you know you aren't pregnant
is a total mind fuck
and just pulls at your heart strings...