Hoarding

I like a dumb ass, started a "Hoarders" marathon.

my heart got heavy
feeling for the people
who had a loved one pass
and they for too long
have been holding on to their things
and in many cases,
everything.

I am constantly asked what I am going to do with all of Bug's things.
The thing that hurts the most is going into that room.
I can't put the last of the things I have of my son in boxes.
And we were so far along that those were HIS things...

I want to scream when people say
"You can always use that for another baby"

Dont get me wrong, had he made it, we wouldve saved them
for another Buchanan...
But now we cant.

We had, with everything, imagined him in his custom made onsies from my baby shower
the Duck jersey Mama Duck gave us that James was so excited about
the pirate onsie my sister gave me that was my favorite
and the little bear jacket that was supposed to be his homecoming outfit,
but ended up being the outfit he was cremated in...

I just can't see me getting rid of his things.
Its all I have left of my baby.