Everything hurts

Today is one of those days where every little thing makes me cry. 

I woke up to the today show talking about how a parent should never have to bury their child...that started a whole slew of emotions and feelings and crying...and to top it off the next segment was about baby names...

Stephanie moved all the baby stuff out of the living room before we came home from the hospital and it feels so empty. I was so used to seeing his lamb chair and the pack and play...now it doesn't feel right.

It's my second day home alone since James went back to work and I hate the quiet. 

The funeral home called and that was not a call I was ready for or even expecting...

I honestly don't even know what's happening anymore. 

I don't eat 

I can't sleep 

I just wanna be alone. 

I for the first time let my phone completely shut off for 3 days straight. No phone calls no txts no Facebook no nothing. 

I just want to hibernate and come out when everything is ok again...