The night

Dropping my dad off on Monday was the beginning of it all.
He had come up almost a year ago to the day.
I was driving home from Burlington and a song came over my phone and I lost it.
I was crying so hard I could barely even see the road and had to pull over.
That one song brought me back to that place last year...
My anxiety about that day coming again is through the roof.
So much so I really haven't been able to function.
I woke up today physically sick.
I know it is a combination of my stress, anxiety and my body just can't deal with it all right now.
I was watching TV nothing sad or emotional and just started crying.
It just hits you and there is nothing you can do about it.
Trying to have some kind of control over it only makes it worse.
So yet again, I'm silently crying as my husband sleeps.
Trying not to wake him.
As I do
Almost every single night.