I am...

I am angry

I am now that lady that doesnt want to see babies
to see pregnant women
or to hear about the baby growing inside you

I had all that
I was preparing for all of it
and then it was gone

I struggled through the nausea
the sleepless the nights
the back pain
the terrible smells
the bloody noses
the peeing every 10 minutes

and now I have nothing to show for it
but 4 tiny stretch marks
so small you wouldnt even notice them unless I pointed them out
a baby nursery with everything he could have ever wanted and needed
now just sitting empty
too painful to touch any of it....