Closure...or lack there of

When someone dies in crime dramas, it seems as thought all avenues are investigated and looked into. 

Crime scenes are meticulously combed over for evidence and most of the time, families are given answers as to what happened.

Someone is charged and the families get some kind of closure. 

When Bug died there was none of that. 

A full panel of blood was run on us both and an autopsy was performed on him. 

And we still have no answers. 

I am continuously told not to blame myself. 

But how can I not. It was my job to keep himsafe. 

I think what hurts the most with child loss and especially still borns is the fact that we don't get answers. Yes there are some cases where there were genetic diseases or chord accidents but again, that wasn't our situation. 

I'm just tired of constantly asking myself why.