So True (::GRAPHIC PHOTO & CONTROVERSIAL POST::)

It's another one of those "things" that people say when they think it is comforting and, it again, is most hurtful. 

I am not a religious person in the slightest. 

Never was and never will be. 

I did not find any comfort in prayers or religion during my loss.

There was and is no amount of praying in the world that will bring my son back. 

However, I was polite and gracious to the people that did find comfort in that way and prayed over James Bug and myself.  

There is a great scene in the Return to Zero movie that says everything I feel when people would pull the God card on me. 

Annie: I saw you across the room and I was moved to say something. What happened doesn't make sense, not to us. God's will is impossible for us to understand, but he wants you to know he loves you and your son.

I pray that you realize that God has a light for each of us to follow, to find our way to his plan, a plan which is perfect in every single way. 

Maggie: (sarcastically) Tell me more about this perfect plan.

Annie: It's a mystery.

Maggie: It IS a mystery.

Annie: It is, but it is perfect, you must have faith in that.

Maggie: So you're telling me, Gods perfect plan,for me, is to suffer a loss so great, so devastating. that I would loose my faith in God, is that right?! Because that is a mystery!

I have come to the point where people say things like that and I, like Maggie, bite back.

I can't help it. 

I know I shouldn't. 

But in all honesty, if no ones says anything, the stigma, taboo and keeping such a topic as this "hush hush" will never change.

Nor will people change how to treat the parents after such a loss.

I have spoken to other bereaved mothers who, like I, did not find comfort in things like that being said.

But honestly, there is no energy left to fight the things being said when your loss is so fresh. 

All you can is thank you.

And thats what I did...and still say. 

Please let us mourn, grieve and come to some kind of understanding on our own. 

Do what you need to do to cope. 

But please don't force your thoughts, feelings and beliefs on me.