Lunch date

Today I had a lunch date out in town.
I wanted to see my friend, but at the same time was dreading it...
It wasn't so much the date, but where it was at.
I had avoided this particular place for 2 years 2 months and 22 days....
I hadn't stepped foot in it since the day before he died, when I went to lunch there with a friend for her birthday.
I was feeling so sick that we ordered our food and I had to ask to take it to go.
All this time it was just a restaurant for everyone else.
But to me it just brought back too many memories.
It recently became a new restaurant
There was no parking out in front and I circled around the block a few times.
It was both to try and find parking
And to calm down since I was shaking sweating and almost in tears.
A little voice in me told me this morning to take my anxiety meds, but I didn't since I hate the feeling of being doped up.

So I parked and walked up legit saying
Its just a building. Its just a building.
Its
Just
A
Building.

I made it through my lunch date, happy to catch up with a friend, but still had an uneasy feeling in my stomach.

I can't say going back there was easy.

My biggest accomplishment pretty much everyday is getting out of bed  
today it was walking through that door.