New year, new grief

2014 is officially over and 2015 has officially started .
And its all just another sad reminder of the new grief I will be walking through this year.
New milestones Bug should have been meeting or making.
New things James and I should have been experiencing as parents of a one year old.

The new year is just sad.

Last year I was stupidly working at a vet clinic thinking that I needed to throw myself into a job and keep myself busy.
When in fact I needed to give myself the time to grieve.

This year things are much much different.

Last year I was belligerently drunk at a new years party, trying to have a good time and make it seem like everything was ok. 

This year I was home with my husband and just cried at midnight.
Like I did last year.
For all the same reasons.

So much for a happy new year.

This is gonna be one hell of a year that's for sure.